Brat Fest
by captainbartholomew
Summary: Who would have thought that there would be a festival dedicated to sausages at the grounds of Sunday's house show? Leave it to AJ Styles to convince everyone it's a good idea to hit up the World's Largest Brat Festival. Oneshot.


_Title: Brat Fest_

 _Author: captainbartholomew_

 _Disclaimer: Maybe someday I'll own something, but for now I just play with them for kicks and giggles because I CAN AND I WILL! OOOOAAAHHHHHH!_

 _*a/n i: This begins and ends with caylendar. We went to the house show in Madison, Wis. last night and on the same grounds as the house show was Brat Fest - The World's Largest Brat Festival, a horse show and a Lady's Roller Derby. Seriously._

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Roman Reigns didn't understand how this had happened.

He carefully adjusted the baseball hat on his head, made sure his tribal tattoo was covered by his t-shirt sleeve and the sunglasses on his face were tightly in place. The last thing he needed was one of the fans to see him and start a riot at this, well whatever this event was supposed to be.

"Come on Roman," said AJ Styles as the Phenomenal One came walking over with a brat in one hand and a water bottle in the other, "Stop being so paranoid. Nobody's going to figure out we're out here, Big Man. Come on, let loose and have a little fun. It wouldn't kill you."

Roman audibly groaned as AJ elbowed him trying to get the WWE Champion to relax. AJ was right, but this was all his idea to sneak out of the arena to enjoy the festival. It had been so nice outside and none of the boys wanted to sit inside all day waiting for the show in the arena. A festival just so happened to be going on the same grounds as the show that evening too and AJ had convinced everyone if they didn't sneak out, it was a missed opportunity. Roman just had a sinking suspicion something was about to go horribly wrong. He had tried to convince his friends this was a bad idea, but AJ had insisted it was a grand scheme.

AJ told the boys in the locker room (Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, Sheamus, Enzo, Cass, and himself) it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to experience Wisconsin and its annual celebration of everything brat related, Brat Fest - The World's Largest Festival for Everything Brat.

Oh, how did Roman yearn to not be the responsible adult right now.

The Samoan was pretty sure this was AJ's way of testing the waters with the new behind the scenes tour director, Helga. Helga was a strong, blonde woman who took no shit from anybody. Roman shuddered thinking about her. Then again she wasn't as scary as he thought except when she was protecting her employees or berating fans who got too close.

"You guys have to try these cheese filled brats!" raved Kevin, who had the dorkiest outfit of a fishing hat and dark shaded aviators on his face. Roman had decided if they were going to do this, they all needed to be somewhat incognito.

"Only in Wisconsin would they have a festival celebrating a hot dog," muttered Sheamus annoyed by the drunken idiots who had been stampeding around the festival grounds behind and in front of him as he had looked around trying to understand this American tradition, "Cheese. Beer. Sausage. That's pretty much Wisconsin's motto, it seems."

"Oh come on Potato Salad, don't be so sour," said AJ as he threw an arm around the Irishman, "Just embrace the culture!"

Roman shook his head unsure of what he was witnessing. "We should probably head back guys. The show is going to start in like an hour or two and I, for one, don't want to get mobbed by crazy fans."

"Come on Reigns, where's your sense of adventure?" exclaimed AJ, his southern accent coming through strongly causing a few Midwesterners to turn their heads in confusion about the one who didn't belong in their ranks.

Roman shot AJ a disconcerting look. "Do you really want to blow our cover?"

"Oh please," AJ said as he once again glided over to Roman, "You only live once and this is me helping you get out of your comfort zone."

"Yea, but you're not the one who has to answer to Helga," the Samoan answered shuddering just thinking about the blonde woman lecturing him about how he was the leader of the locker room and it was his responsibility to watch out for the others, especially the rookies. Speaking of that…

"Aren't we missing somebody?"

"More like somebodies," answered Sami as he came running up to the group frantically, "Zo and Cass may have gotten themselves into a wee bit of a situation."

"How much of a situation?" Roman asked trying to remain calm as Sami motioned for the others to follow him towards a bunch of tents.

Sami finally stopped at one of the tents after navigating the group of Superstars through the throngs of people. Once they were inside the tent, it took a moment for everyone's eyes to adjust to what they were seeing in front of them.

Big Cass was sitting on the stage chowing down on brats as fast as he possibly could. Meanwhile, Enzo stood behind him screaming his head off for Cass to go faster.

The WWE Champion felt sick to his stomach just watching Cass shove that many brats down into his gullet. The Samoan also made a mental note to not ever mess with Big Cass when he was hungry, otherwise he might lose a hand and never Super Man punch again.

What on earth had possessed the Realest Guys in the Room to think it was a good idea to enter a bratwurst eating competition before the show?!

And that's when Roman saw it. A giant, golden trophy with a giant, golden bratwurst perched on top of it. The sparkle on it was something else. The trophy seemed to have its own spotlight and Roman knew the two rookies never turned down a challenge, even if it was a bratwurst eating competition. He could just see Enzo and Cass walking by and the tent. The scene inside the tent would catch Enzo's attention and as hard as Cass would try to talk the young man out of it, there would be no going back.

The other superstars had made their way up to the table and were screaming at Cass and rooting him on. Roman stood in the back taking in the scene. His friends were unbelievable. All the champion could do was hope there were no hardcore WWE fans in this tent. Otherwise they were screwed.

As Roman continued to contemplate whether the crowd was full of WWE fans, did the bell for the competition ring and Big Cass's hand was raised as the winner. Somehow Enzo finagled the microphone away from the host of eating competition and that was when Roman knew things were going to go south.

"My name is Enzo Amore… and I am a certified G and a bonafide stud, and you can't teach that! And this right here, this Big Cass and he's 7 feet tall, the Bratwurst Eating Champion of the World, and 7 feet tall! And you can't teach that! Bada boom! Realest guys in the room!"

Roman literally face palmed as light bulbs began to go off as people in crowd began recognizing who the people around the stage were.

They were screwed, they were so screwed.

Before Roman knew what was happening AJ grabbed him and they were sprinting toward the arena. He was able to briefly look around to see the oddest scene he would probably ever witness in his life.

Enzo had jumped on Cass's back as the duo ran away from the mass mob. Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens were trying their hardest to look like they hated each other and run away from the crowd while not breaking kayfabe. Sheamus, it seemed was having the most trouble, as small children kept jumping out in front of the Irishman wanting to kick the mean man who had stolen Roman's championship and hinder his path to the title time and time again.

"Open the doors!" shouted AJ as they got close to the arena and a security guard looked confused as all get out about the fast approaching mob, "OPEN THE DOORS MAN! WE'RE THE TALENT!"

Before more could be said, did the door fly open as the Superstars came tumbling in through the door on top of each other. The one security guard was able to beat off the small group of fans.

In hindsight, Roman could have sworn that mob was ready to riot and not only like seven people.

As Roman lay on the ground at the bottom of the pile of his friends, did he notice a pair of black high heels right in front of him.

Helga, the dreaded director of the tour, stood with her arms crossed in front of her chest, angrily annoyed at the shenanigans the Superstars had just pulled.

"Do you care to explain to me what this is supposed to be, Mr. Reigns?"

Roman shook his head and sighed in defeat. "I can't take these idiots anywhere, can I?"

The End.

(XXXX)

 _*a/n ii: Please review! And Happy Memorial Day! -cap_


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